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New Year's News

New Year's News

I have been sick since before Xmas, I have stayed home for almost two week. I am getting better and I hope to be better in time for work.


Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I ran into McDonalds...

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A girl walks into her friend’s apartment. It's Saturday morning and the spring rain has once again started falling from the sky. Time is approximately 10:30 am. All of the shades are drawn and the large apartment is all quiet except for the sounds of the snoring brunette in the next room.

The girl puts the car keys back in her friend's purse. Since should have asked to borrow them in the first place, she feels as if she ought to at least put them back where she found them. The slightly damp girl dries herself off with the kitchen towel then carries the recently purchased bags into the living room. They are heavier than she remembers, but she places them on the living room table with gentle ease.

She discreetly slides open the bedroom door, trying not to disturb sleeping beauty until the right moment. Then delicately seats herself on the tatami mat near the futon with all the gracefulness of a geisha. She reaches out to her friend and nudges the sleeping beauty.
"Tressa. Tressa wake up. I have something important to tell you. "

"Hmmm... What's going on?" says Tressa as she rolls over to listen to her friend. With the blanket still covering half her head she cracks open one eye just enough to make out the shape of her friend's form in the darkened room.

"Tressa I gotta tell you something. I took your car this morning and I had a little accident.". Tressa shot up like a hot curnel of corn in an oily pan.
"Don’t get mad, but I took your car and ran into Mc Donald's. "

"Oh My God! Are you serious? What the hell happened?" mumbled the suddenly awakened Tressa as she rubs her eyes into focus.

"Yeah, I took your car and ran straight into the the McDonalds ." said the friend hurriedly.
"What?"
"I ran straight in and GOT YOU A DELICIOUS SAUSAGE MCMUFFIN!!!! Get your lazy ass out of bed and have some breakfast with me!"

Tressa pauses to process this new information. "Goddamn it Jody! You Bitch! You almost gave me a heart attack! So... nothing is wrong with the car?" she pants as I shakes my head unable to answer do to a sudden laughing fit. Tressa then proceeds to roll over onto the other side of the futon, pick up her pillow and beat me across the head with it.

"Get up! It's getting cold!" I shouted as I jumped up and skipped off to the living room.
"I ran into McDonalds and got you a fucking sausage McMuffin." grumbled Tressa. "I can't believe you... you're nuts! I Love Ya, Man. Thanks for the breakfast. Sausage McMuffins." says Tressa in her best Sean Connery accent. "They’re fucking Delicious! "

And so the girls ate their breakfast with enthusiasm, watched a movie and went on with their lives just as they do every Saturday. THE END


2 comments:

stitchingpooh said...

I guess your lucky you got to post that one. I would have killed you. :)

Anonymous said...

Sausage McMuffins.....they`re fuckin delicious!
The end
Its OK I still love ya.
Tressa